deep clean ruminations 

It’s been a while since I’ve cleaned my room. The last time I did a deep clean (besides the deep clean we had to do during the last week of Track 1 at IHOP-KC) was about a year ago. And when I say ‘clean’, I mean a deep clean – going through EVERY SINGLE drawer and box and compartment and shelf I can see and deciding if what’s in there is worth keeping.  I came to a conclusion about myself in the midst of the piles of stuff around me – I hoard stuff. I REALLY DO. I keep anything that has the tiniest amount of sentiment attached to it. If a kid gave me a little flower made out of paper, ready to fall apart, I keep it. I found farewell gifts given to me before I moved here to Australia. I found little notes that were at least 10 years of age from my high school days – those have already fallen apart and were held together by tape and prayers.

Sure, those things reminded me of the good ol’ days when life was a bit more simple and less stressful. Except for high school though – high school takes adolescent dramas to a new level. My high school years taught me a lot of things about myself and it has molded me into the person I am today, but really, I am so glad to be out of that season because I do not want to sit through all the teenage dramas again.

But that’s besides the point.

My point is, no matter how much sentimental value those things had, they accumulate and they eventually become junk. They take up unnecessary space in my room where better things could’ve been. To be honest, there comes a point when we’ll have to choose between keeping them or getting rid of them. They don’t decrease in value in terms of sentiment, but it merely decreases in importance.

So two hours later, I ended up sitting in the middle of my room with piles and piles and piles of stuff around me. The stuff-I-decided-to-throw-away pile was A LOT TALLER than the keep pile. It’s amazing sometimes how we just keep stuff and we forget that we had them because it was that long ago.

I also came to the this realization – our hearts are like this too. We keep and treasure memories of the past, constantly reminiscing and wishing that we were in that season again, or hoping that season would come back again. But then what happens is that it never happens.

We keep going back to the past and we never fully appreciate the present. 

We get so caught up in the ‘have-been’s and we push away the ‘can-be’s  and ‘could-be’s. 

The ‘have-been’s take up space in our hearts where the ‘can-be’s should be.

Friends, I find myself doing this so often to be honest. I keep reminiscing about my season at IHOP, without knowing that me being melancholic and reminiscint takes my attention away from the present and from the future I should be investing in.

This stops today. I’m going to turn my eyes away from worthless things (in all sense of the word) and fix my eyes on the things that matter in the present and the things that will matter in the future.

Funny what a deep clean can do.  😉

Love you all, D xx

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– Temporal vs. the Eternal –

It’s been a month since I’ve arrived back on home soil. My three months away at IHOP were, to be honest, the best three months I’ve ever had. The connections I’ve made and the memories made are without a doubt, the very things that will live on in my heart for the rest of my existence. After spending an intense season away from Perth, it was hard to get back into routine and into ‘normality’ – it still IS, but God’s grace has enabled me to push beyond that and into something more. 🙂

All my life, I’ve always known what I wanted and what I needed. I am a ‘list’ person – I love knowing exactly where my mind is at, where my heart is, and where I stand in life and with people. I’ve always had short-term and long-term goals, but now, after coming back, everything is thrown off-kilter and I don’t know what I want anymore. Things have changed since I’ve been gone, and I myself have changed too.

Yet, even in this season of uncertainty, the Holy Spirit has been challenging me in the past month to think BEYOND that.

Think ‘kingdom mentality’ and ‘infinity’.

The world, although made for us to steward well and to enjoy, is not a place for us to base our ‘infinity’/’God aspirations’ on. Worldly things are exactly what they’re called – WORLDLY. Most of all, they are undoubtably temporal, fleeting, and definitely subject to the winds of change. We have to lift our eyes to Jesus and think of the ‘big picture’.

What are we doing for others?

How are we affecting the lives of those we know and those we don’t know through our attitudes, thoughts, and actions, whether big or small?

What are we doing with the measure that God has given us, personally and corporately as the Body of Christ?

In this age, it is so easy to be narcissistic and to constantly be consumed (mind, body, and soul) with oneself. We sometimes neglect to think about how our actions and our choices affect those around us, thinking that we are the epicentre of the world, and the world naturally revolves around us. We get so caught up in ourselves. I have been guilty of that countless times.

It’s time to get our minds off ourselves, and onto others. It’s time to take our minds off the things of this world, and to focus on a God and His eternal kingdom and plans.

Love you all,
D ❤ x

Halfway Through (and I’m 22!)

Halfway through this track and I am loving it. 🙂

My body is definitely used to the change in time zone and the NightWatch schedule now.

NightWatch and everything it stands for is a challenge but I’ve come to the realisation (thanks, Mike Bickle) that it is a wonderful privilege too to stand in the night and intercede on behalf of the people (believer and pre-believers) and to give God the honour He definitely is worthy of when no one else wants to.

God also has been revealing so many things to me and I felt like the 2 years of waiting definitely positioned my heart to receive what I was meant to receive here… He’s been giving me an upgrade (like, literally) because I’m so different to how I was before I arrived – in a good way though. I no longer have gastric pains, my tendinitis is gone, my spirit has received so much in the past few weeks. My perspective on life and God has shifted dramatically and I see Him (His nature, His ways, His methods, His heart) in such a different light. Knowing how much He loves me as His precious daughter makes it so much easier to love Him and to trust Him during the tumultuous seasons (within and away from IHOP).

Since arriving here, I’ve learned so much about Americans and what they stand for and believe in.

I learned that American ‘thongs’ and Aussie ‘thongs’ are very different from each other, Aussies say ‘car boot’ and Americans say ‘car trunk’, Aussie potato gems are American tater tots, among many, many, many others.

For the first time in my life, I know what negative degree Celsius feels like. Cold, but surprisingly pleasant… so cold that it’s pleasant…?

I’ve also fallen in love with the London Fog latte they sell at Higher Grounds Cafe (IHOP), which is basically earl grey tea with steamed milk and vanilla syrup. I’m DEFINITELY making this often when I get home.

I love hanging out with my fellow Track 1 interns – listening to their life stories, their God stories, and the revelations God has been giving them in this season. I realised that God is constantly telling me stuff through other people – it could be a passing comment, or an action, or a revelation God has given them that’s being passed on to me. EVERYTHING about these people inspire me and keep me going during the hard times. I have AMAZING housemates who are awesome and fascinating – they have quickly become sisters to me and they challenge and push me every day to become the best I could possible be. They also decided to spoil me with surprise birthday presents so that’s a nice cherry on top. 😉

I also realised that NOTHING IS INSIGNIFICANT,
and NOTHING IS A COINCIDENCE.

The spiritual atmosphere here is so soothing and peaceful, and heightened too. In this kind of spiritual atmosphere, it felt like such a thin place (the barrier between heaven and earth here in thin). Because of that, nothing is insignificant. There were so many times when we’re praying for someone and God would give several of us the same picture but in a different phase. With this, the Holy Spirit would work in such a way in directing the session to the point where the picture He wants to unfold to the person we’re praying for would be revealed bit by significant bit. It’s fantastic, seeing it unfold. It would usually be in order too so it is exciting to see where else the Holy Spirit would take our prophetic parties (and everything else).

Anyways. I’m excited to bring what I’ve received back to Perth but I’m very reluctant to leave at the same time. I want to get to know my fellow interns so much more through Track 2 but I guess if God wills it, I will see them again after the track ends. I wouldn’t mind coming back to America though for another trip. I know I will miss everyone so very much (just thinking about it makes me teary).

I’m glad God placed all of us in this track because we’ve all grown so close in the space of 6 weeks as a cohort. It’s not home, but it feels like home, being with these people. 🙂

Love you all,
D x

New beginnings

So hey everyone,

It’s been about 3-4 weeks since I traded the comforts and familiarity of home for a completely new environment and way of life. It’s a temporary season, but I can’t help but feel like I could be doing this for the rest of my life, standing in the gap and ministering to God every day from 12am-6am when the rest of the community is asleep. A majority of injustice and dark deeds are performed in the dark and cover of the night and it is such an honour (a scary honour) to be doing this with a bunch of like-minded people who are equally passionate about pulling heaven onto earth and to partner with God and His heart to bring justice.

To be honest, it’s only been a few weeks and I can hardly recognize myself in the mirror. My thoughts are different, the deep-seated strongholds in my life are quickly losing their foothold, and I’ve never felt so alive. Like, really alive. I love reading the bible now (which is a miracle in itself), I’m more fascinated with God than ever, and I love it. My roommates are amazing – they are such gems and there are so many international students too which is so encouraging because I don’t feel so alone when I encounter something I don’t know about American culture (and there is so much I don’t know). It’s been an eye-opener but I LOVE IT! It’s so pretty here in Kansas City too and it’s been amazing, going on walks with newfound friends and bonding over coffee and birthday cake Oreos.

I do miss my friends in Perth and the culture and the food, but yet I don’t miss it at the same time? It’s a weird sensation but I’m okay with it. 🙂

I’m looking forward to see how God is going to work in the next few weeks.

Love you all,
D xx

// short and sweet //

Wow. It’s been a while. Apologies, my dear readers – I’m not usually this tardy with my writing. Things have shifted and changed since my last post, some of which were self-imposed, and the others were all outside of my control.

However. Change is good though. I like change. It keeps me going and it propels me towards greater things.

Speaking of change and greater things, only 4 days left and counting till I leave my home sweet home (and all of my beloved Perthians). I will, instead, be spending 3 months at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, dedicating that time to growing in the things of God and seeking out His heart. I cannot guarantee you that I will not return to Perth unchanged, because I think when you’ve set aside 3 months (or even 6 months, if God wills it) to chasing God and beholding His face and Presence, you cannot help but become what you behold.

For that alone, I am excited. 🙂 I will hopefully post updates while I’m in the US of A (I would like to) but only time will tell.

Until then, my dear readers, do what you do best – BE AWESOME.

Love y’all ❤
D x

The Gift of Life

“In death, in life, I’m confident and covered by the power of Your great Love” – One Thing Remains, Bethel.

Yesterday I received news that shocked me to the core of my being. The death of a dear pastor and role model that happened as quickly as the next breath we take without knowing.

As the tears streamed down my cheeks, I was awakened to the harsh reality that we do take life for granted sometimes.

 

We get so caught up in all the DOING, to the point where we forget that we are human BEINGs.

———-

We forget to stop and smell the flowers.

We forget to look up from our phones and mobile technology to appreciate the unique things only life outside technology can offer.

We forget to appreciate just how amazing it is to even be able to do all the things we can do as humans – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and socially.

We forget to celebrate the lives of those around us, not necessarily because of what they’ve DONE, but for simply BEING themselves and alive.

We forget to admire the masterpieces around us in the form of nature.

We forget to remind our friends and family just how much we love them and appreciate them being in our lives.

We forget to breathe in and out and remind ourselves that there’s something only we can bring to the world.

We forget to love ourselves.

We forget to love others.

———-

We forget to live life to the very fullest.

We forget to live our long-forgotten dreams.

We forget to be happy.

 

We forget to take a moment to step back from the hustle and bustle of LIVING to enjoy BEING ALIVE.

 

We

forget

to

simply

BE.

 

Why?

We are afraid of what others would say, of failure, of rejection. Hence, we settle for less than the best.

Not only that, we settle for A LOT less than what we are meant to have, because a good portion of the world has partnered and agreed with these lies –

  • ‘I don’t deserve to be happy/I don’t deserve to live my dreams’
  • ‘I’m not good enough’
  • ‘I’m not worth it’.If you’ve partnered with those lies, let me tell you something – You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have much more than what you think you deserve. You are good enough. You are unique. You are worth it.

 

Why?

There’s something only YOU can bring to the world. 

God placed something in you when He made you that the world needs. He placed it in you because He knows you can steward it well. He’s given you what He’s given you because He knows the world will need it. You might think it’s insignificant but NOTHING is insignificant to God.

NOTHING is too small or too big for Him. It is always JUST RIGHT.

The ever-popular hashtag #YOLO is sadly true, despite being misused and abused time and time again by this generation. We do only live once on this earth – because of this, we cannot allow our past mistakes to haunt our present and future. We cannot let fear of failure and fear of the unknown stop us from fully exploring what we were placed on earth to give.

 

It’s never too late to create.

It’s never too late to do the things you never thought you could do.

It’s never too late to run towards life and embrace it.

 

So RUN. 🙂

 


D

Accidents, Bach, & Thankfulness

On the 1st of August 2009, I sliced my thumb (to put it very bluntly). It wasn’t just my thumb, it was the area in between my thumb and my forefinger. I won’t go into the details of how it happened, but it was so deep I could see my tendon.

I know. Urgh. I’ll stop describing it. 😛

I was rushed to the hospital and they used skin glue instead of stitches to put my flesh back together. Praise the Lord for skin glue. My hand was in a cast for two weeks and after that, I had about a month to rehabilitate my left hand for my UWA music audition. I planned to play a Bach Prelude and Fugue and this particular fugue is brutal for the left hand (twists, turns, stretches, you name it). While practising, I needed to constantly monitor my wound to make sure it didn’t decide to split open again during those finger stretches. Finally, I decided to follow through with the audition even though it caused me a lot of pain. I’ve been practising for hours and days on end for this audition. I’ve put way too much into this and I wanted to take my chances. Getting into UWA and majoring in music was my dream, although it seemed like my little accident would ruin my chances of ever getting in.

However, God is a good God and I think He really wanted me to get into UWA music too because I got an acceptance letter several months later! The next few years were brutal in their own way, but I matured and developed my skills like never before. To be honest, despite the blood, sweat, and tears, I would never ever trade those years for anything else.

5 years have passed since that incident – every year on the 1st of August, I give thanks to God for showing me that He does work everything for His children’s good, no matter what it may look like from the outside. I thank God for fulfilling the dreams and desires of my heart. He’s so very patient and so very loving. And mostly, I thank God for being there for me through thick and thin, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Romans 8:28 – ‘And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.’

That is my testimony. What is yours?

Love,
D ❤ ❤ x